It took about two and a half weeks for me to get my ‘feelings hurt’ for the first time in 2014. Just two and a half weeks, pretty sad, but true. It was one of those moments that makes you flash back to that one time in fifth grade where you’re picked last for kickball, or that awkward 8th grade dance where you seem to be the only one without a date. Anyone with me? Remember those moments? I really thought we’d outgrow them but they just take different forms in adulthood.
I’ll explain the situation a little bit so you can get an idea of where I’m coming from but not to the point where I’m gossiping about a situation in hopes of making myself feel good. I am involved in a ministry where I get to have a leadership role. I love my role in this ministry and am always eager to serve. Well, two and a half weeks into 2014 I was at this ministry position and learned at the last minute that I didn’t get to do my ‘role’. I wasn’t sure if I was forgotten or deliberately left off the list, but I felt embarrassed and just plain bad about myself. Have you ever had one of those moments?
I put on my happy face, blinked back tears and went about my day, but I struggled with my attitude and my own feelings of insecurity. Why wasn’t I good enough? Did I make my leader mad? Have they been talking about me? Am I failure?
But before I really went full force into wallowing, I heard the still small voice of the Lord remind me of His truth. “Child, you belong to me. I have placed you here for a reason. All things work for the good of those who are love me and are called according to my purpose (Rom 8:28). Before you were in the womb I knew you and set you apart. (Jer 1:5). And you are my precious child. (1 John 3:2, Rom 8:17) (NOTE- scripture quotes are paraphrased in this paragraph)
I am so thankful for the word of God and the way that the Lord communicates his truth to us. I rested in his truth and actually ended up having an incredible conversation about the Lord with a woman who was not part of this ministry. I realized after our conversation that she and I were supposed to talk that day. And if I had been busy doing the role I thought I ‘deserved’ I probably wouldn’t have been able to talk to her. I probably wouldn’t have even noticed her.
God has orchestrated your steps for this year. Even during situations that are painful or don’t make sense, He’s got a plan laid out for you. Even when we can’t see the path in front of us, it’s there and he’s guiding us. When your ‘role’ changes in a relationship, job or ministry, actively seek out God’s voice. Cling to the truth of scripture and seize the moments that God places in front of you. My experience a couple weeks ago was frustrating and disappointing, but in hindsight I can clearly see what God was up to. My prayer for myself is that I can trust God from the beginning that He knows what he’s doing. I’ll pray that for you too.